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Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a fuckin' window and slit his throat on the way down saying, I can't even put gas in my plane!

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Bill
Woke
Window
Gas
Tomorrow
Plane
Saying
Jump
Rich
Gates
Money
Wealthy
Even
Throat
Planes
Slit

More quotes by Chris Rock

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Babies don't know who's rich and who's poor. You love 'em and they're happy.
Chris Rock
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No, I want big ol' titties in my face!
Chris Rock
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When you become a comedian a lot of stuff that made you laugh before just stops. You stop watching your old cartoons you used to watch. You stop reading the funnies. It's like working at a strip club. You don't come home and turn on the Playboy Channel.
Chris Rock
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If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.
Chris Rock
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When I hear people talk about juggling or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy because sacrifice infers that there was something better to do than the thing - than being with your children.
Chris Rock
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I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.
Chris Rock
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When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy.
Chris Rock
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All people naturally hate. My kid bites people now. I didn't teach my kid to bite anybody. Kids say mean stuff. Only through love do we get this evil out of them. Only through love and structure and discipline do they not hate. The kids that hate didn't learn anything, that's the problem.
Chris Rock
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Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.
Chris Rock
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My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
Chris Rock
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America is the greatest country in the whole world.
Chris Rock
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If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
Chris Rock
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I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things.
Chris Rock
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You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders.
Chris Rock
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I'm an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic.
Chris Rock
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I try to stay with it and I try to stay in contact with comedians and just keep comedians in my life 'cause comedians are their own species. If you get away from them, especially as a comedian, I think it's dangerous.
Chris Rock
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Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
Chris Rock
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I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with.
Chris Rock
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So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.
Chris Rock
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In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you're a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess. If you're short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator. If you're a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you're a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra.
Chris Rock