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Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a fuckin' window and slit his throat on the way down saying, I can't even put gas in my plane!
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Tomorrow
Plane
Saying
Jump
Rich
Gates
Money
Wealthy
Even
Throat
Planes
Slit
Bill
Woke
Window
Gas
More quotes by Chris Rock
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
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If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.
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I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie.
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A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000.
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I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!
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I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.
Chris Rock
If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.
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I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can't ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.
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I'll probably pay more attention to the musicians in the pit than the stars because they're the closest you're going to get to normal people in the audience.
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Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
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You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
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Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house! A woman lie is like, It's your baby!
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Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.
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I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.
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Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.
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A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
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It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes.
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Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
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I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
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