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Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a fuckin' window and slit his throat on the way down saying, I can't even put gas in my plane!
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Jump
Saying
Rich
Gates
Money
Wealthy
Even
Throat
Slit
Planes
Woke
Bill
Gas
Window
Plane
Tomorrow
More quotes by Chris Rock
They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.
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If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time.
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Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.
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I got love from my family. I don't really need love from a paper, you know what I mean? I can't get too happy because somebody said something nice about me. I appreciate it, but let's not get it twisted - this is not changing my life.
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Babies don't know who's rich and who's poor. You love 'em and they're happy.
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When I hear people talk about juggling or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy because sacrifice infers that there was something better to do than the thing - than being with your children.
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I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
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Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
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Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
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Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
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A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
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Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world.
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Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.
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Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
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You got a gun, you don't have to work out.
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Pretty girls have problems too.
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Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.
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You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!
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I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.
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No matter what kind of backgrounds two men are from, if you go, 'Hey, man, women are crazy,' you've got a friend.
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