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Oprah is rich Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out of a window and slit his throat on the way down saying, 'I can't even put gas in my plane!'
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Window
Plane
Tomorrow
Jump
Saying
Gates
Rich
Wealthy
Money
Throat
Slit
Even
Planes
Slits
Way
Bill
Woke
Bills
Gas
More quotes by Chris Rock
Stop the violence! Can't we all just get along?
Chris Rock
I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things.
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If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.
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My dad worked every day. I didn't get into show business to work every day. So the fact that most days I get to like, spend really good time with my kids - that's what success is to me.
Chris Rock
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
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If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a world where they do what they want to do. When you are raised by two parents, you are constantly watching compromise take place. Just by observing that, it made me a better person.
Chris Rock
Kids raised on a culture of “We’re not going to keep score in the game because we don’t want anybody to lose.” Or just ignoring race to a fault. You can’t say “the black kid over there.” No, it’s “the guy with the red shoes.” You can’t even be offensive on your way to being inoffensive.
Chris Rock
Babies don't know who's rich and who's poor. You love 'em and they're happy.
Chris Rock
It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes.
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Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
Chris Rock
I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.
Chris Rock
Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
Chris Rock
Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.
Chris Rock
I never really write the jokes. I just sit down over a week or two and try to figure out what I want to talk about. Once I narrow that down, then I start working on the material, like How do I make this stuff funny?
Chris Rock
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense
Chris Rock
I'm happy if everybody else is. I'm a big brother, the oldest. If you're happy and I'm not, I'm cool with that. If I'm happy and you're not, I'm sad.
Chris Rock
Pretty girls have problems too.
Chris Rock
Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club.
Chris Rock
Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world.
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I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
Chris Rock
