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Oprah is rich Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out of a window and slit his throat on the way down saying, 'I can't even put gas in my plane!'
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Way
Bill
Woke
Bills
Gas
Window
Plane
Tomorrow
Jump
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Gates
Rich
Wealthy
Money
Throat
Slit
Even
Planes
Slits
More quotes by Chris Rock
Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.. I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!! That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!
Chris Rock
Money is the best lotion in the world.
Chris Rock
Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it.
Chris Rock
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house! A woman lie is like, It's your baby!
Chris Rock
The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that when I do stand-up, nothing I talk about is funny. Everything is really sad and tragic and then I make it funny.
Chris Rock
America is the greatest country in the whole world.
Chris Rock
Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
Chris Rock
If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a world where they do what they want to do. When you are raised by two parents, you are constantly watching compromise take place. Just by observing that, it made me a better person.
Chris Rock
It's easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever.
Chris Rock
I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck.
Chris Rock
Babies don't know who's rich and who's poor. You love 'em and they're happy.
Chris Rock
I'll probably pay more attention to the musicians in the pit than the stars because they're the closest you're going to get to normal people in the audience.
Chris Rock
Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit.
Chris Rock
Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.
Chris Rock
When you become a comedian a lot of stuff that made you laugh before just stops. You stop watching your old cartoons you used to watch. You stop reading the funnies. It's like working at a strip club. You don't come home and turn on the Playboy Channel.
Chris Rock
Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
Chris Rock
I'm happy if everybody else is. I'm a big brother, the oldest. If you're happy and I'm not, I'm cool with that. If I'm happy and you're not, I'm sad.
Chris Rock
I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can't ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.
Chris Rock
Carol Leifer is funny, really funny.
Chris Rock
My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
Chris Rock