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Oprah is rich Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out of a window and slit his throat on the way down saying, 'I can't even put gas in my plane!'

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Tomorrow
Jump
Saying
Gates
Rich
Wealthy
Money
Throat
Slit
Even
Planes
Slits
Way
Bill
Woke
Bills
Gas
Window
Plane

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If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.
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Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world.
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When you're making a real documentary, you shoot it and the movie happens. You don't make - this sounds corny - you don't make a documentary, a documentary makes you. It really does.
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You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
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When you make drama you are like Picasso. Drama is whatever you want it to be.
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Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work.
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I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
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The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.
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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
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My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars.
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When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going to the mall.' It's all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest - it's all good.
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I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
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Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
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My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
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Stop the violence! Can't we all just get along?
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So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.
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There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I bail myself out with a joke. But it's like trying to do movies where there's a dramatic undertone.
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I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck.
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My dad worked every day. I didn't get into show business to work every day. So the fact that most days I get to like, spend really good time with my kids - that's what success is to me.
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When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.
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