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You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Nowhere
Bored
Lonely
Married
Single
Happiness
More quotes by Chris Rock
Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
Chris Rock
Oprah is rich Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out of a window and slit his throat on the way down saying, 'I can't even put gas in my plane!'
Chris Rock
The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.
Chris Rock
If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart.
Chris Rock
We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.
Chris Rock
I never really write the jokes. I just sit down over a week or two and try to figure out what I want to talk about. Once I narrow that down, then I start working on the material, like How do I make this stuff funny?
Chris Rock
Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks.
Chris Rock
Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.
Chris Rock
A lot of racism going on in the world right now. Who's more racist? Black people or white people? Black people. You know why? 'Cuz we hate black people too! Everything white people don't like about black people, black people really don't like about black people.
Chris Rock
So there's a cloud of rage around me, but being an artist kind of changes that. No matter what you thought coming in, what ignorant thing you believed, you're in show business for two years, you're like, OK, I was wrong. It's hard to be mad at any particular group of people when you're an artist.
Chris Rock
The only plan I have is to not do anything I don't want to do - and to never work just for money.
Chris Rock
Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.
Chris Rock
Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
Chris Rock
If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.
Chris Rock
I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie.
Chris Rock
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense
Chris Rock
You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
Chris Rock
Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.
Chris Rock
Oprah is rich, Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out a fuckin' window and slit his throat on the way down saying, I can't even put gas in my plane!
Chris Rock
I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.
Chris Rock