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When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going to the mall.' It's all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest - it's all good.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Better
Graduation
Thing
Changing
Going
Dad
Diaper
Kind
Equal
Mall
Good
Quality
Diapers
Time
Winning
Malls
Father
Contest
Kids
Contests
More quotes by Chris Rock
Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
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Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.
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Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
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Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.
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Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
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Whatever your woman is into, you better be into. Whatever your man is into, you better be N2. Your partner into church, you better be into church. Your man or woman a crack head, you better be a crack head ... Otherwise it just won't work.
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A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
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Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it.
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I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.
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My movies are okay, but they're not my specials.
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My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
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If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
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I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?
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Money is the best lotion in the world.
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I see guys who can't make 10 percent of what I make, and yet they have four Bentleys, three houses, and four bodyguards.
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School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
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When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.
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I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
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Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house! A woman lie is like, It's your baby!
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Babies don't know who's rich and who's poor. You love 'em and they're happy.
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