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When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going to the mall.' It's all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest - it's all good.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Better
Graduation
Thing
Changing
Going
Dad
Diaper
Kind
Equal
Mall
Good
Quality
Diapers
Time
Winning
Malls
Father
Contest
Kids
Contests
More quotes by Chris Rock
Oprah is rich Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out of a window and slit his throat on the way down saying, 'I can't even put gas in my plane!'
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Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
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Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
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It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes.
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Babies don't know who's rich and who's poor. You love 'em and they're happy.
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Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.. I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!! That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!
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Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
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People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.
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Early in my career it was very important that I gain the reputation. I haven't been on the road in two or three years, but when I say tickets are on sale, I know they're going to be gone, even if my movie bombed or my TV show sucked.
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Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
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Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.
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My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
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Pretty girls have problems too.
Chris Rock
I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.
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I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
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Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work.
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I love black people, but I hate niggers.
Chris Rock
There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I bail myself out with a joke. But it's like trying to do movies where there's a dramatic undertone.
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I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things.
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I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck.
Chris Rock