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My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Lines
Funny
Woman
Coupons
Mother
Supermarket
Kind
Supermarkets
Line
Behinds
Behind
More quotes by Chris Rock
I'm happy if everybody else is. I'm a big brother, the oldest. If you're happy and I'm not, I'm cool with that. If I'm happy and you're not, I'm sad.
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My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.
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School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
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If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.
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Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.
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I'm an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic.
Chris Rock
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
Chris Rock
Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
Chris Rock
You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!
Chris Rock
I think it's better to have ideas.
Chris Rock
By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.
Chris Rock
I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.
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Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.
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You don't pay taxes they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.
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You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
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When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!
Chris Rock
People basically aren't that racist. They want their laughs. If I make a white guy laugh, he's gonna come see me. He's not gonna go see the white guy who doesn't make him laugh just because that guy is white.
Chris Rock
A man is only as faithful as his options.
Chris Rock
There's no interference in stand-up. It's all the things it's hard to get in film: I get to have a wife, I get to have kids. I get to be sexual. I get to grow. I get to be a man.
Chris Rock
Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club.
Chris Rock