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My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Woman
Coupons
Mother
Supermarket
Kind
Supermarkets
Line
Behinds
Behind
Lines
Funny
More quotes by Chris Rock
I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?
Chris Rock
You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders.
Chris Rock
If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a world where they do what they want to do. When you are raised by two parents, you are constantly watching compromise take place. Just by observing that, it made me a better person.
Chris Rock
The only plan I have is to not do anything I don't want to do - and to never work just for money.
Chris Rock
I say everything's about company. A gourmet meal with an asshole is a horrible meal. A hot dog with an interesting person is an amazing meal.
Chris Rock
Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.
Chris Rock
They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.
Chris Rock
A man is only as faithful as his options.
Chris Rock
Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
Chris Rock
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.
Chris Rock
When a musical act performs, the black audience goes crazy for all the stuff, the album cuts, everything. White audiences, they're nice and all, but they're not going to lose it until they get the hits. Comedy is the same thing.
Chris Rock
I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?
Chris Rock
You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
Chris Rock
Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
Chris Rock
If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
Chris Rock
You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
Chris Rock
I see guys who can't make 10 percent of what I make, and yet they have four Bentleys, three houses, and four bodyguards.
Chris Rock
So there's a cloud of rage around me, but being an artist kind of changes that. No matter what you thought coming in, what ignorant thing you believed, you're in show business for two years, you're like, OK, I was wrong. It's hard to be mad at any particular group of people when you're an artist.
Chris Rock
When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy.
Chris Rock
If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!
Chris Rock
