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My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Kind
Supermarkets
Line
Behinds
Behind
Lines
Funny
Woman
Coupons
Mother
Supermarket
More quotes by Chris Rock
When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going to the mall.' It's all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest - it's all good.
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Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit.
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America is the greatest country in the whole world.
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If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.
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If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.
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You got a gun, you don't have to work out.
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I say everything's about company. A gourmet meal with an asshole is a horrible meal. A hot dog with an interesting person is an amazing meal.
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You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
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I don't need a president with a bucket list!
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Wealth is not about having a lot of money it's about having a lot of options.
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Artistically I'm curious. But in life? No. I can go to a restaurant and order the same thing for 10 years.
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I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things.
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Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world.
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Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.
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I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.
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I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie.
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Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
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You don't pay taxes they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.
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I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
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I'll probably pay more attention to the musicians in the pit than the stars because they're the closest you're going to get to normal people in the audience.
Chris Rock
