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If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
America
Uncle
Littles
Uncles
Look
Paid
Little
Humor
Looks
College
Different
Bits
Like
Funny
Black
Molested

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That's a sure sign someone is going crazy - when he refers to himself in the third person, talks in low tones, and walks around wearing shades all day!
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Artistically I'm curious. But in life? No. I can go to a restaurant and order the same thing for 10 years.
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Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit.
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There's a difference between racism and I don't know any better. I'm clueless. Racism is like, I'm trying to make you feel bad. That's racism.
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You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders.
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My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars.
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You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.
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I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.
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Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
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Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
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People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.
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I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie.
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Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.
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When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.
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I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?
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When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy.
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I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'
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Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.
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So there's a cloud of rage around me, but being an artist kind of changes that. No matter what you thought coming in, what ignorant thing you believed, you're in show business for two years, you're like, OK, I was wrong. It's hard to be mad at any particular group of people when you're an artist.
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Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work.
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