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I do what I can do when I can do it.

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock

More quotes by Chris Rock

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I have four jackets, five pants, whatever, that are all the same. If you see U2 in concert, they wear the same thing every night. They just got a bunch of them. Albert Einstein used to wear brown suits every day. Why waste brainpower on something that is trivial?
Chris Rock
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Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
Chris Rock
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I say everything's about company. A gourmet meal with an asshole is a horrible meal. A hot dog with an interesting person is an amazing meal.
Chris Rock
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I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?
Chris Rock
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There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I bail myself out with a joke. But it's like trying to do movies where there's a dramatic undertone.
Chris Rock
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I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. I'd like to be great. I want to reach for greatness.
Chris Rock
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Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.
Chris Rock
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You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
Chris Rock
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I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack.
Chris Rock
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I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Chris Rock
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Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
Chris Rock
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Oprah is so rich, I saw John Kerry proposing to her.
Chris Rock
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You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense
Chris Rock
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If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.
Chris Rock
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When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going to the mall.' It's all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest - it's all good.
Chris Rock
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Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.
Chris Rock
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No matter what kind of backgrounds two men are from, if you go, 'Hey, man, women are crazy,' you've got a friend.
Chris Rock
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Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
Chris Rock
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Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don't like gays? You're gonna have a gay son. You don't like Puerto Ricans? Your daughter's gonna come home with Livin' La Vida Loca!
Chris Rock
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Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.
Chris Rock