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I do what I can do when I can do it.

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock

More quotes by Chris Rock

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Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
Chris Rock
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You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.
Chris Rock
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Wealth is not about having a lot of money it's about having a lot of options.
Chris Rock
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You don't pay taxes they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.
Chris Rock
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It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.
Chris Rock
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Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.
Chris Rock
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Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.
Chris Rock
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Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.
Chris Rock
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If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! 'This is a rap killing! Let's get outta here!'
Chris Rock
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If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!
Chris Rock
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If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart.
Chris Rock
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Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
Chris Rock
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Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
Chris Rock
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The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.
Chris Rock
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You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
Chris Rock
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I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!
Chris Rock
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Carol Leifer is funny, really funny.
Chris Rock
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The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh.
Chris Rock
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If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.
Chris Rock
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I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?
Chris Rock