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I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Humor
Comedy
Show
Funny
Business
Janet
Shows
Jesse
Jackson
Hang
More quotes by Chris Rock
You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
Chris Rock
School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
Chris Rock
Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
Chris Rock
When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!
Chris Rock
You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.
Chris Rock
You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
Chris Rock
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
Chris Rock
There's a difference between racism and I don't know any better. I'm clueless. Racism is like, I'm trying to make you feel bad. That's racism.
Chris Rock
That's a sure sign someone is going crazy - when he refers to himself in the third person, talks in low tones, and walks around wearing shades all day!
Chris Rock
Yeah, it's unfair that you can get judged by something you didn't do, but it's also unfair that you can inherit money that you didn't work for.
Chris Rock
Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people were crazy. Now they're not as crazy. To say that black people have made progress would be to say they deserve what happened to them before.
Chris Rock
Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.
Chris Rock
Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
Chris Rock
I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.
Chris Rock
I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with.
Chris Rock
Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.
Chris Rock
It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes.
Chris Rock
When you're making a real documentary, you shoot it and the movie happens. You don't make - this sounds corny - you don't make a documentary, a documentary makes you. It really does.
Chris Rock
I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?
Chris Rock
You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
Chris Rock
