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Hollywood's just not funny.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Funny
Hollywood
More quotes by Chris Rock
Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
Chris Rock
Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
Chris Rock
Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club.
Chris Rock
You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
Chris Rock
Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
Chris Rock
It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.
Chris Rock
I believe you got my property?
Chris Rock
Money is the best lotion in the world.
Chris Rock
I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.
Chris Rock
I used to have horrible cars that would always end up broken down on the highway. When I tried to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But if I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself - people like to see that.
Chris Rock
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense
Chris Rock
When I hear people talk about juggling or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy because sacrifice infers that there was something better to do than the thing - than being with your children.
Chris Rock
I see as white people finding loopholes in the slavery laws.
Chris Rock
I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.
Chris Rock
If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! 'This is a rap killing! Let's get outta here!'
Chris Rock
I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. I'd like to be great. I want to reach for greatness.
Chris Rock
Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it.
Chris Rock
America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.
Chris Rock
I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.
Chris Rock
Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
Chris Rock