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Hollywood's just not funny.

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Hollywood
Funny

More quotes by Chris Rock

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Yeah, it's unfair that you can get judged by something you didn't do, but it's also unfair that you can inherit money that you didn't work for.
Chris Rock
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A man is only as faithful as his options.
Chris Rock
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I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.
Chris Rock
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A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000.
Chris Rock
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I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can't ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.
Chris Rock
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Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager... Boy, was I wrong!
Chris Rock
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My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
Chris Rock
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I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.
Chris Rock
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Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.
Chris Rock
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They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.
Chris Rock
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When a musical act performs, the black audience goes crazy for all the stuff, the album cuts, everything. White audiences, they're nice and all, but they're not going to lose it until they get the hits. Comedy is the same thing.
Chris Rock
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Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
Chris Rock
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You got a gun, you don't have to work out.
Chris Rock
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Kids raised on a culture of “We’re not going to keep score in the game because we don’t want anybody to lose.” Or just ignoring race to a fault. You can’t say “the black kid over there.” No, it’s “the guy with the red shoes.” You can’t even be offensive on your way to being inoffensive.
Chris Rock
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My dad worked every day. I didn't get into show business to work every day. So the fact that most days I get to like, spend really good time with my kids - that's what success is to me.
Chris Rock
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An entertainer's reputation as a live act is the most valuable thing he or she can have. If people know you give good shows, you'll never be broke for the rest of your life.
Chris Rock
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School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
Chris Rock
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Community college is like a disco with books: Here's ten dollars let me get my learn on!
Chris Rock
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You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
Chris Rock
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I believe you got my property?
Chris Rock