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I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Book
Menus
Plate
Plates
Cook
Cooks
Table
Tables
Nice

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Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.
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I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.
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Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
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Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks.
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The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.
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Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, Hey. Do you see that ghost? And he says, What ghost?
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If you’re a black Christian, you have a real short memory.
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I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.
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I don't think my comedy is that political. It's more social. But whatever. When you make comedy and you do stand-up, you work alone. Movies have to go under so much scrutiny. A stand-up special is a vision, and a movie is a consensus in a lot of ways.
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I got love from my family. I don't really need love from a paper, you know what I mean? I can't get too happy because somebody said something nice about me. I appreciate it, but let's not get it twisted - this is not changing my life.
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Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
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If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!
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The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.
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If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
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The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.
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Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.
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When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy.
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I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. I'd like to be great. I want to reach for greatness.
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I do what I can do when I can do it.
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