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I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Table
Tables
Nice
Book
Menus
Plate
Plates
Cook
Cooks
More quotes by Chris Rock
Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
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Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
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The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh.
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Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
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Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, Hey. Do you see that ghost? And he says, What ghost?
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Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.
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If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
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You got a gun, you don't have to work out.
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Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don't like gays? You're gonna have a gay son. You don't like Puerto Ricans? Your daughter's gonna come home with Livin' La Vida Loca!
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I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with.
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I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.
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There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I bail myself out with a joke. But it's like trying to do movies where there's a dramatic undertone.
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Kids raised on a culture of “We’re not going to keep score in the game because we don’t want anybody to lose.” Or just ignoring race to a fault. You can’t say “the black kid over there.” No, it’s “the guy with the red shoes.” You can’t even be offensive on your way to being inoffensive.
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I think it's better to have ideas.
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I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, bang bang, right into it.
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Wealth is not about having a lot of money it's about having a lot of options.
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We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.
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Pretty girls have problems too.
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America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.
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If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time.
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