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School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Funny
White
Shootings
School
Blacks
Men
Stolen
Invented
Shooting
Humor
Comedy
More quotes by Chris Rock
If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.
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No, I want big ol' titties in my face!
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The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh.
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When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That's it.
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I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'
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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
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Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
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The only plan I have is to not do anything I don't want to do - and to never work just for money.
Chris Rock
So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.
Chris Rock
A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000.
Chris Rock
If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! 'This is a rap killing! Let's get outta here!'
Chris Rock
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.
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I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.
Chris Rock
I say everything's about company. A gourmet meal with an asshole is a horrible meal. A hot dog with an interesting person is an amazing meal.
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It's easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever.
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When I hear people talk about juggling or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy because sacrifice infers that there was something better to do than the thing - than being with your children.
Chris Rock
Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, Hey. Do you see that ghost? And he says, What ghost?
Chris Rock
I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?
Chris Rock
People basically aren't that racist. They want their laughs. If I make a white guy laugh, he's gonna come see me. He's not gonna go see the white guy who doesn't make him laugh just because that guy is white.
Chris Rock
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house! A woman lie is like, It's your baby!
Chris Rock
