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School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Invented
Shooting
Humor
Comedy
Funny
White
Shootings
School
Blacks
Men
Stolen
More quotes by Chris Rock
When you become a comedian a lot of stuff that made you laugh before just stops. You stop watching your old cartoons you used to watch. You stop reading the funnies. It's like working at a strip club. You don't come home and turn on the Playboy Channel.
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Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? They know you ain't got one.
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You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense
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I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack.
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If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a world where they do what they want to do. When you are raised by two parents, you are constantly watching compromise take place. Just by observing that, it made me a better person.
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Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.
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Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager... Boy, was I wrong!
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Men are handicapped when it comes to arguing, 'cause we have a need to make sense.
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We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy.
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The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh.
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I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.
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I do what I can do when I can do it.
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You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
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If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart.
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If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
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I love black people, but I hate niggers.
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Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
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Pretty girls have problems too.
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A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000.
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