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I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Humor
Comedy
Getting
Funny
Live
Neighborhood
Shot
Shots
Rocks
More quotes by Chris Rock
Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
Chris Rock
They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.
Chris Rock
Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit.
Chris Rock
I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie.
Chris Rock
I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things.
Chris Rock
I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.
Chris Rock
Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.
Chris Rock
You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.
Chris Rock
There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I bail myself out with a joke. But it's like trying to do movies where there's a dramatic undertone.
Chris Rock
I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.
Chris Rock
I don't think my comedy is that political. It's more social. But whatever. When you make comedy and you do stand-up, you work alone. Movies have to go under so much scrutiny. A stand-up special is a vision, and a movie is a consensus in a lot of ways.
Chris Rock
Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
Chris Rock
An entertainer's reputation as a live act is the most valuable thing he or she can have. If people know you give good shows, you'll never be broke for the rest of your life.
Chris Rock
Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
Chris Rock
You don't pay taxes they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.
Chris Rock
Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.
Chris Rock
Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.
Chris Rock
I think it's better to have ideas.
Chris Rock
A lot of racism going on in the world right now. Who's more racist? Black people or white people? Black people. You know why? 'Cuz we hate black people too! Everything white people don't like about black people, black people really don't like about black people.
Chris Rock
If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.
Chris Rock