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I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

Chris Rock

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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Funny
Live
Neighborhood
Shot
Shots
Rocks
Humor
Comedy
Getting

More quotes by Chris Rock

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When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.
Chris Rock
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Kids raised on a culture of “We’re not going to keep score in the game because we don’t want anybody to lose.” Or just ignoring race to a fault. You can’t say “the black kid over there.” No, it’s “the guy with the red shoes.” You can’t even be offensive on your way to being inoffensive.
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My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars.
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Black comics, they only watch Black comedians. You're a comedian you're not just a Black comedian. You're a comedian. I try to get that through to everybody.
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When you become a comedian a lot of stuff that made you laugh before just stops. You stop watching your old cartoons you used to watch. You stop reading the funnies. It's like working at a strip club. You don't come home and turn on the Playboy Channel.
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When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.
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Pretty girls have problems too.
Chris Rock
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I mean no disrespect to anything I did before.
Chris Rock
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I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
Chris Rock
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I don't need a president with a bucket list!
Chris Rock
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Men are handicapped when it comes to arguing, 'cause we have a need to make sense.
Chris Rock
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Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
Chris Rock
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I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
Chris Rock
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I used to have horrible cars that would always end up broken down on the highway. When I tried to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But if I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself - people like to see that.
Chris Rock
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Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
Chris Rock
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Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, Hey. Do you see that ghost? And he says, What ghost?
Chris Rock
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A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
Chris Rock
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Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
Chris Rock
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A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
Chris Rock
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You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.
Chris Rock