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If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Women
Twenty
Looks
Near
Damn
Tells
Twenties
Six
Funny
Sixteen
Woman
Twelve
More quotes by Chris Rock
In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you're a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess. If you're short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator. If you're a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you're a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra.
Chris Rock
I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.
Chris Rock
School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
Chris Rock
I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can't ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.
Chris Rock
I'm pretty good at getting over people throwing stuff at me. If you've been doing stand up long enough you know how to swing back and get the laughs.
Chris Rock
When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!
Chris Rock
Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club.
Chris Rock
People basically aren't that racist. They want their laughs. If I make a white guy laugh, he's gonna come see me. He's not gonna go see the white guy who doesn't make him laugh just because that guy is white.
Chris Rock
Stop the violence! Can't we all just get along?
Chris Rock
If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.
Chris Rock
I'll probably pay more attention to the musicians in the pit than the stars because they're the closest you're going to get to normal people in the audience.
Chris Rock
It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes.
Chris Rock
You got a gun, you don't have to work out.
Chris Rock
Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.. I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!! That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!
Chris Rock
There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.
Chris Rock
They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.
Chris Rock
So there's a cloud of rage around me, but being an artist kind of changes that. No matter what you thought coming in, what ignorant thing you believed, you're in show business for two years, you're like, OK, I was wrong. It's hard to be mad at any particular group of people when you're an artist.
Chris Rock
I know what you're thinking: why is Chris Rock bagging groceries? But I dropped out of high school in the tenth grade, so if I couldn't tell jokes this is exactly what I'd be doing.
Chris Rock
Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.
Chris Rock
Oprah is rich Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out of a window and slit his throat on the way down saying, 'I can't even put gas in my plane!'
Chris Rock