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You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Offend
Bullying
Mean
Something
More quotes by Chris Rock
America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.
Chris Rock
Black comics, they only watch Black comedians. You're a comedian you're not just a Black comedian. You're a comedian. I try to get that through to everybody.
Chris Rock
If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.
Chris Rock
The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.
Chris Rock
The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh.
Chris Rock
There's no interference in stand-up. It's all the things it's hard to get in film: I get to have a wife, I get to have kids. I get to be sexual. I get to grow. I get to be a man.
Chris Rock
I see guys who can't make 10 percent of what I make, and yet they have four Bentleys, three houses, and four bodyguards.
Chris Rock
I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.
Chris Rock
I see as white people finding loopholes in the slavery laws.
Chris Rock
I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.
Chris Rock
I used to have horrible cars that would always end up broken down on the highway. When I tried to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But if I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself - people like to see that.
Chris Rock
All people naturally hate. My kid bites people now. I didn't teach my kid to bite anybody. Kids say mean stuff. Only through love do we get this evil out of them. Only through love and structure and discipline do they not hate. The kids that hate didn't learn anything, that's the problem.
Chris Rock
Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.
Chris Rock
I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with.
Chris Rock
Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it.
Chris Rock
They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.
Chris Rock
When you're making a real documentary, you shoot it and the movie happens. You don't make - this sounds corny - you don't make a documentary, a documentary makes you. It really does.
Chris Rock
I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.
Chris Rock
You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
Chris Rock
I try to stay with it and I try to stay in contact with comedians and just keep comedians in my life 'cause comedians are their own species. If you get away from them, especially as a comedian, I think it's dangerous.
Chris Rock
