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I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Life
Comedy
High
Silliness
Funny
Rehab
Wish
Messed
Right
Stupidity
Sometimes
Excuse
Way
Humor
Would
Stupid
More quotes by Chris Rock
A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
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If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.
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There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I bail myself out with a joke. But it's like trying to do movies where there's a dramatic undertone.
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Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
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When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!
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I think it’s better to have ideas. You can change an idea changing a belief is trickier.
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Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? They know you ain't got one.
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An entertainer's reputation as a live act is the most valuable thing he or she can have. If people know you give good shows, you'll never be broke for the rest of your life.
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The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.
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Babies don't know who's rich and who's poor. You love 'em and they're happy.
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I love black people, but I hate niggers.
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Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.
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Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people were crazy. Now they're not as crazy. To say that black people have made progress would be to say they deserve what happened to them before.
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When you make drama you are like Picasso. Drama is whatever you want it to be.
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If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart.
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I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
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I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?
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America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.
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If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.
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Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.
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