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I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Right
Stupidity
Sometimes
Excuse
Way
Humor
Would
Stupid
Life
Comedy
High
Silliness
Funny
Rehab
Wish
Messed
More quotes by Chris Rock
Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.
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I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
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I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.
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There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.
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So there's a cloud of rage around me, but being an artist kind of changes that. No matter what you thought coming in, what ignorant thing you believed, you're in show business for two years, you're like, OK, I was wrong. It's hard to be mad at any particular group of people when you're an artist.
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Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
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It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.
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America is the greatest country in the whole world.
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A man is only as faithful as his options.
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Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
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An entertainer's reputation as a live act is the most valuable thing he or she can have. If people know you give good shows, you'll never be broke for the rest of your life.
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I say everything's about company. A gourmet meal with an asshole is a horrible meal. A hot dog with an interesting person is an amazing meal.
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I believe you got my property?
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Community college is like a disco with books: Here's ten dollars let me get my learn on!
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If a kid calls his grandma Mommy and his mama Pam, he's going to jail!
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If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.
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School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
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I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.
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You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders.
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A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
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