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Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
Chris Rock
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Chris Rock
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: February 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Andrews
South Carolina
Cris Rock
Christopher Julius Rock III
Lil penny
Christopher Rock
Control
Gun
Five
Innocent
Funny
Dollars
Need
Cost
Bystanders
Needs
Wouldn
Bullet
Every
Humor
Bullets
Think
Thousand
Dollar
Thinking
Comedy
Innocence
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If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.
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Community college is like a disco with books: Here's ten dollars let me get my learn on!
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Money is the best lotion in the world.
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You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!
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I try to stay with it and I try to stay in contact with comedians and just keep comedians in my life 'cause comedians are their own species. If you get away from them, especially as a comedian, I think it's dangerous.
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I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.
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Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.
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I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.
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I mean no disrespect to anything I did before.
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I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?
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Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.
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I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.
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I do what I can do when I can do it.
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Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.
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You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.
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I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.
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If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time.
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You don't pay taxes they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.
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Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it.
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I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.
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