Quote

You can't touch the strippers. Why are you paying to not touch someone? That is weird. How do you win in that situation? That is like walking into a deli, starving, and being like, 'Here's $300 - can I stare at the roast beef? Better yet, I'll sit down in this chair and you can mash it around my mouth and balls.

Chris Hardwick

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Chris Hardwick
Age: 52
Born: 1971
Born: November 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Louisville
Kentucky
Christopher Ryan Hardwick
Like
Mouths
Starving
Touch
Chair
Walking
Chairs
Deli
Situation
Paying
Strippers
Winning
Staring
Mash
Someone
Mouth
Roast
Around
Weird
Beef
Better
Balls
Stare

More quotes by Chris Hardwick

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I learned not to confuse 'busy' with 'productive,' but I'm still far too addicted to email to resist its early-morning digital snuggles.
Chris Hardwick
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There's a lot of money being generated by nerds right now. Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, the list goes on and on. Nerds make more money than our government. And with money comes power.
Chris Hardwick
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The idea of the archetypal nerd is totally blurred these days. So many people of this current generation have grown up with technology and video games. It's just a part of the world now, a part of our shared culture.
Chris Hardwick
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There are certain parts of a classic nerd's brain that can destroy that person - obsessing about things to the detriment of everything else in your life. But those are the same tools that you can use to turn everything around.
Chris Hardwick
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The worst day ever was when I found out my grandfather was going to die.
Chris Hardwick
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You don't need 30 million people to listen to your podcast. If 10,000 people listen to your podcast, which is not a hard number to achieve, then 10,000 people are listening, and you can build a community, and literally change the world just recording into a microphone.
Chris Hardwick
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My mom is a big sports fans. Basketball, football, baseball, whatever. She calls into sports radio shows and gets into shouting matches, that's how intense she is about it.
Chris Hardwick
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If you can build your career around your passions, then you're winning in life that's one of the best things you can ask for.
Chris Hardwick
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It's funny: when I first started getting vocal about how much I liked 'Doctor Who,' I didn't realize how deep the fan base was.
Chris Hardwick
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The lifeblood of YouTube is sharing.
Chris Hardwick
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I don't know why people don't want to talk about their numbers. I guess in a sense, there's a bit of performer nudity, a bit of ego nudity when you expose your numbers, I guess because someone's are higher or someone's are lower. I've never really talked about the numbers with anyone, so maybe I'm not supposed to.
Chris Hardwick
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I do find some of the meanest, most exclusionary people are the nerds. And they rebel against other nerds! What are you doing? As much as I love nerds and the nerd movement, the nerd-on-nerd violence is really bad. A lot of times, nerds are the meanest ones online. And also, the trolling can be very extensive because they're smart.
Chris Hardwick
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We're not in an information age anymore. We're in the information management age.
Chris Hardwick
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I think doing the podcast may have been one of the best career decisions I've ever made in my life.
Chris Hardwick
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I don't know if I'm a Twitter addict. That seems kind of harsh. I would say it's more that I'm seriously involved. That it's a long-term relationship - like a girlfriend, which my actual girlfriend loves to hear.
Chris Hardwick
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Twitter is basically text messaging. Twitter is a guy you can always elbow in the side and say, Hey, look, a guy in a clown suit just threw up! And I don't have 400-800 words to say about that, I just wanted to say that one thing.
Chris Hardwick
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A lot of people complain in the year 2003 that it's not the world of tomorrow as foreseen in the 1950s. 'Where are the flying cars?' people say. 'Where are the robots who bring us blue drinks and warn us of danger?' Alright. We don't have those things, specifically, folks, but you know what we do have? Laser vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
Chris Hardwick
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I made a lot of changes in my life between my twenties and thirties, and it all sort of revolves around how I think people with nerdier brains tend to problem-solve and approach things differently then norms.
Chris Hardwick
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I played tournament chess from fifth grade up into high school.
Chris Hardwick
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I was very competitive growing up. I can't even play chess anymore because I used to play tournament chess in school. There's too much sense memory of sitting in front of a chess board and getting super intense about it. It's ruined the game for me.
Chris Hardwick