Quote

You can't touch the strippers. Why are you paying to not touch someone? That is weird. How do you win in that situation? That is like walking into a deli, starving, and being like, 'Here's $300 - can I stare at the roast beef? Better yet, I'll sit down in this chair and you can mash it around my mouth and balls.

Chris Hardwick

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Chris Hardwick
Age: 52
Born: 1971
Born: November 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Louisville
Kentucky
Christopher Ryan Hardwick
Around
Weird
Beef
Better
Balls
Stare
Like
Mouths
Starving
Touch
Chair
Walking
Chairs
Deli
Situation
Paying
Strippers
Winning
Staring
Mash
Someone
Mouth
Roast

More quotes by Chris Hardwick

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The nerdist movement is less about consumers there is a large contingent that are creative nerdists instead of consumers.
Chris Hardwick
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Comedy has sort of been my life-long obsession. I literally obsessed over comedy. I really didn't play sports - for me it was just comedy, computers and chess club those were my big things.
Chris Hardwick
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We're not in an information age anymore. We're in the information management age.
Chris Hardwick
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I think when I look out and I see there's so much negativity in the world and a lot of people are unhappy and a lot people are anxious, it just feels like that's one view of the world. But you don't have to always focus on that view of the world.
Chris Hardwick
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If I wasn't acting or doing stand-up, I would be in animation. Or if I had the discipline I might studies physics.
Chris Hardwick
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I feel like being nerd is not about the superficial quality it's about how nerds approach life. It's much more emotional and mental than it is you're some fat guy living in your mom's basement, which I think is just a hacky stereotype.
Chris Hardwick
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Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.
Chris Hardwick
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Things that are viral are things that motivate people to say I have to share this with everyone I know, and that has been more politics lately, and that's completely understandable.
Chris Hardwick
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If you wish to achieve any success in this life, do your best to surround yourself with an orgy of good choices.
Chris Hardwick
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One of the many reasons why I love stand-up so much is when you're performing, you get instant feedback. You know if stuff is working right away.
Chris Hardwick
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Be offended by everything or be offended by nothing.
Chris Hardwick
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Don't tell television, but there is some superior programming being made on the Interwebz.
Chris Hardwick
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I love the South. Although I grew up primarily in Memphis, my family moved around a ton when I was a kid. I guess I never stayed in one place long enough to pick up the accent, but I definitely identify as a Southerner.
Chris Hardwick
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I almost think of nerd brains as rattlesnake venom like, you can milk it. You can milk the pulpy venom out of the nerd brain and use it for good if you want to.
Chris Hardwick
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Steal moments of happiness if you have to, and then collect them until they are the dominant images in your psyche.
Chris Hardwick
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You can't throw money at the Internet to make it work - it really is all about the quality of the content.
Chris Hardwick
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We will continue to address things, but in as much as I want to talk about politics as they are related to social media, I don't necessarily want to be a political show. I want it to cover everything, everything in our culture through social media, politics, pop culture, entertainment, science, everything.
Chris Hardwick
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Some people learn comedy, and some people just are comedy.
Chris Hardwick
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The podcast movement was really a creative survival mechanism for standup comics.
Chris Hardwick
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I made a lot of changes in my life between my twenties and thirties, and it all sort of revolves around how I think people with nerdier brains tend to problem-solve and approach things differently then norms.
Chris Hardwick