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Playing Xbox for 23 hours straight is cool and all, but I'm going to teach you how to spend time on things in your life that will get you the following two things: paid and laid.
Chris Hardwick
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Chris Hardwick
Age: 52
Born: 1971
Born: November 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Louisville
Kentucky
Christopher Ryan Hardwick
Life
Spend
Playing
Teach
Hours
Laid
Two
Straight
Going
Cool
Things
Following
Time
Paid
More quotes by Chris Hardwick
I played tournament chess from fifth grade up into high school.
Chris Hardwick
I love the South. Although I grew up primarily in Memphis, my family moved around a ton when I was a kid. I guess I never stayed in one place long enough to pick up the accent, but I definitely identify as a Southerner.
Chris Hardwick
The nerds provide the toys that distract the morons. So the nerds are sort of the new drug-dealers. We're the drug dealers of the 21st century because we provide all the brain candy for the mouth-breathers, for lack of a better word.
Chris Hardwick
The thing about hipsters is that they take very seriously trying to make themselves look like they don't take themselves seriously.
Chris Hardwick
The idea of the archetypal nerd is totally blurred these days. So many people of this current generation have grown up with technology and video games. It's just a part of the world now, a part of our shared culture.
Chris Hardwick
Be offended by everything or be offended by nothing.
Chris Hardwick
I was very competitive growing up. I can't even play chess anymore because I used to play tournament chess in school. There's too much sense memory of sitting in front of a chess board and getting super intense about it. It's ruined the game for me.
Chris Hardwick
I feel like so much of why I sort of want to work in television is so that people know to come see me live.
Chris Hardwick
If you're able to build from your falls you'll be unstoppable and damn near fearless. You see, every time you fall down and get back up, you add another piece of body armor to yourself. You learn what not to do, how to do better, and how to create comfort through practice.
Chris Hardwick
When I was younger, my parents used to say, Trust us on this. We have more experience than you. And I was like, Shut up, you don't know anything! But I was an idiot. They did know more stuff because they'd experienced more things.
Chris Hardwick
My mom is a big sports fans. Basketball, football, baseball, whatever. She calls into sports radio shows and gets into shouting matches, that's how intense she is about it.
Chris Hardwick
It's very easy to attack ourselves. Even comforting in its familiarity, but you must resist this urge at all costs. Dwelling on the past or your perceived flaws will do nothing but keep you under emotional house arrest and hamper your progress. Commit yourself to growth and reward yourself with kindness for choosing to do so!
Chris Hardwick
When I was in grade school I was into chess club, Latin club, D&D, computer camp - everything that made vaginas go away.
Chris Hardwick
I like listening to people talk about things that they love. They get to express things they don't normally get to express.
Chris Hardwick
I do seem like the kind of guy who'd be obsessive about Rubik's Cubes.
Chris Hardwick
The podcast movement was really a creative survival mechanism for standup comics.
Chris Hardwick
If you do a joke that's really old, then what happens is people on Reddit and Twitter just go, 'Real original, you're just doing old jokes!' But bands do it all the time.
Chris Hardwick
I'm fascinated by people's process. Everyone's process is a little bit different, and just to see the different paths that people take to get where they are is really interesting to me.
Chris Hardwick
Things that are viral are things that motivate people to say I have to share this with everyone I know, and that has been more politics lately, and that's completely understandable.
Chris Hardwick
Comment threads are the new therapy for people. They just go and post the worst things they can think of because they feel bad, and then other people start attacking them, and then they attack back.
Chris Hardwick