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You walk into a strip club with a wad of cash they all flock around you. Strippers are just pigeons with tits. They go where the bread is.
Chris Hardwick
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Chris Hardwick
Age: 52
Born: 1971
Born: November 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Louisville
Kentucky
Christopher Ryan Hardwick
Clubs
Strippers
Bread
Tits
Flock
Walk
Pigeons
Walks
Flocks
Around
Strip
Cash
Club
More quotes by Chris Hardwick
I don't know if I'm a Twitter addict. That seems kind of harsh. I would say it's more that I'm seriously involved. That it's a long-term relationship - like a girlfriend, which my actual girlfriend loves to hear.
Chris Hardwick
The nerds provide the toys that distract the morons. So the nerds are sort of the new drug-dealers. We're the drug dealers of the 21st century because we provide all the brain candy for the mouth-breathers, for lack of a better word.
Chris Hardwick
The thing about hipsters is that they take very seriously trying to make themselves look like they don't take themselves seriously.
Chris Hardwick
If you're able to build from your falls you'll be unstoppable and damn near fearless. You see, every time you fall down and get back up, you add another piece of body armor to yourself. You learn what not to do, how to do better, and how to create comfort through practice.
Chris Hardwick
I think doing the podcast may have been one of the best career decisions I've ever made in my life.
Chris Hardwick
Stand-up isn't something I just sit down and start writing - it's ideas you come up with in the shower, while you're driving, waiting in line.
Chris Hardwick
No matter what tricks you use or what decisions you make, go easy on yourself as someone who's on a never-ending quest for improvement.
Chris Hardwick
A lot of people complain in the year 2003 that it's not the world of tomorrow as foreseen in the 1950s. 'Where are the flying cars?' people say. 'Where are the robots who bring us blue drinks and warn us of danger?' Alright. We don't have those things, specifically, folks, but you know what we do have? Laser vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
Chris Hardwick
I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.
Chris Hardwick
I spent a lot of time bowling as a kid, mostly because I grew up in bowling alleys. They were kind of my playgrounds.
Chris Hardwick
Nerdists, unlike nerds, tend to be creators as much as consumers. They're creative consumers.
Chris Hardwick
Comment threads are the new therapy for people. They just go and post the worst things they can think of because they feel bad, and then other people start attacking them, and then they attack back.
Chris Hardwick
There's a lot of laughing on a horror movie set. They're magical in that way.
Chris Hardwick
There's a lot of money being generated by nerds right now. Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, the list goes on and on. Nerds make more money than our government. And with money comes power.
Chris Hardwick
Be offended by everything or be offended by nothing.
Chris Hardwick
Comic-Con is nerd Christmas. People go wanting to have fun.
Chris Hardwick
I just feel like, for me personally, there's just been so much election fatigue, and while I think it was very important during the election to always be on top of everything that was going on with the election via social media, I do feel like, all right, now we need a little bit of a detox. I think people need a little bit of a break from it.
Chris Hardwick
It's very easy to attack ourselves. Even comforting in its familiarity, but you must resist this urge at all costs. Dwelling on the past or your perceived flaws will do nothing but keep you under emotional house arrest and hamper your progress. Commit yourself to growth and reward yourself with kindness for choosing to do so!
Chris Hardwick
Fleetwood Mac is just one of my all-time favorite bands.
Chris Hardwick
I feel like so much of why I sort of want to work in television is so that people know to come see me live.
Chris Hardwick
