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You walk into a strip club with a wad of cash they all flock around you. Strippers are just pigeons with tits. They go where the bread is.
Chris Hardwick
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Chris Hardwick
Age: 52
Born: 1971
Born: November 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Louisville
Kentucky
Christopher Ryan Hardwick
Walks
Pigeons
Around
Flocks
Strip
Cash
Club
Clubs
Strippers
Bread
Tits
Walk
Flock
More quotes by Chris Hardwick
I like listening to people talk about things that they love. They get to express things they don't normally get to express.
Chris Hardwick
If you do a joke that's really old, then what happens is people on Reddit and Twitter just go, 'Real original, you're just doing old jokes!' But bands do it all the time.
Chris Hardwick
I think doing the podcast may have been one of the best career decisions I've ever made in my life.
Chris Hardwick
Growing up in the 70s and 80s, it took effort to be a nerd. You had to seek out the nerd stuff.
Chris Hardwick
When I was in school, if you wanted a computer, you had to build one. But today, computers are everywhere. We're all obsessed with technology and having the latest gadgets. Nerd culture is ubiquitous.
Chris Hardwick
It's very easy to attack ourselves. Even comforting in its familiarity, but you must resist this urge at all costs. Dwelling on the past or your perceived flaws will do nothing but keep you under emotional house arrest and hamper your progress. Commit yourself to growth and reward yourself with kindness for choosing to do so!
Chris Hardwick
No matter what tricks you use or what decisions you make, go easy on yourself as someone who's on a never-ending quest for improvement.
Chris Hardwick
There's something about shooting webs out of my wrists and climbing up things that just makes me happy.
Chris Hardwick
There's a lot of money being generated by nerds right now. Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, the list goes on and on. Nerds make more money than our government. And with money comes power.
Chris Hardwick
I do lots of crowd work in my set, because I enjoy writing material through riffing and conversation.
Chris Hardwick
I learned not to confuse 'busy' with 'productive,' but I'm still far too addicted to email to resist its early-morning digital snuggles.
Chris Hardwick
A lot of people complain in the year 2003 that it's not the world of tomorrow as foreseen in the 1950s. 'Where are the flying cars?' people say. 'Where are the robots who bring us blue drinks and warn us of danger?' Alright. We don't have those things, specifically, folks, but you know what we do have? Laser vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
Chris Hardwick
I've always had a fondness for that satirical, Terry Gilliam - esque evil corporate megastructure, the kind of business that hangs banners that say making your life better as it throws kittens into the gears.
Chris Hardwick
Stand-up isn't something I just sit down and start writing - it's ideas you come up with in the shower, while you're driving, waiting in line.
Chris Hardwick
I feel like so much of why I sort of want to work in television is so that people know to come see me live.
Chris Hardwick
The thing about hipsters is that they take very seriously trying to make themselves look like they don't take themselves seriously.
Chris Hardwick
I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.
Chris Hardwick
I think being an outcast is what sort of strengthens the nerd movement, because you're isolated, so you have time.
Chris Hardwick
We didn't understand irony yet in the '80s we just kind of existed at face value, so there was no nerd cool yet because the digital revolution was still in its infancy.
Chris Hardwick
When you first start working, you take whatever job is offered, because you have to build your resume. But you don't think about what you're building.
Chris Hardwick