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You walk into a strip club with a wad of cash they all flock around you. Strippers are just pigeons with tits. They go where the bread is.
Chris Hardwick
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Chris Hardwick
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Louisville
Kentucky
Christopher Ryan Hardwick
Club
Clubs
Strippers
Bread
Tits
Walk
Flock
Walks
Pigeons
Around
Flocks
Strip
Cash
More quotes by Chris Hardwick
If you can build your career around your passions, then you're winning in life that's one of the best things you can ask for.
Chris Hardwick
Stand-up isn't something I just sit down and start writing - it's ideas you come up with in the shower, while you're driving, waiting in line.
Chris Hardwick
I do podcasts for the same reasons I do stand-up comedy. I love it, and I don't care if anybody else gets it.
Chris Hardwick
I do lots of crowd work in my set, because I enjoy writing material through riffing and conversation.
Chris Hardwick
Nerdists, unlike nerds, tend to be creators as much as consumers. They're creative consumers.
Chris Hardwick
I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.
Chris Hardwick
Comment threads are the new therapy for people. They just go and post the worst things they can think of because they feel bad, and then other people start attacking them, and then they attack back.
Chris Hardwick
You can't touch the strippers. Why are you paying to not touch someone? That is weird. How do you win in that situation? That is like walking into a deli, starving, and being like, 'Here's $300 - can I stare at the roast beef? Better yet, I'll sit down in this chair and you can mash it around my mouth and balls.
Chris Hardwick
Twitter is basically text messaging. Twitter is a guy you can always elbow in the side and say, Hey, look, a guy in a clown suit just threw up! And I don't have 400-800 words to say about that, I just wanted to say that one thing.
Chris Hardwick
Be offended by everything or be offended by nothing.
Chris Hardwick
Worry is a misuse of your imagination.
Chris Hardwick
The lifeblood of YouTube is sharing.
Chris Hardwick
You can't throw money at the Internet to make it work - it really is all about the quality of the content.
Chris Hardwick
Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.
Chris Hardwick
I was very competitive growing up. I can't even play chess anymore because I used to play tournament chess in school. There's too much sense memory of sitting in front of a chess board and getting super intense about it. It's ruined the game for me.
Chris Hardwick
I don't know why people don't want to talk about their numbers. I guess in a sense, there's a bit of performer nudity, a bit of ego nudity when you expose your numbers, I guess because someone's are higher or someone's are lower. I've never really talked about the numbers with anyone, so maybe I'm not supposed to.
Chris Hardwick
I had a personal blog, but why does anyone care that I went shopping for hats?
Chris Hardwick
The podcast movement was really a creative survival mechanism for standup comics.
Chris Hardwick
We will continue to address things, but in as much as I want to talk about politics as they are related to social media, I don't necessarily want to be a political show. I want it to cover everything, everything in our culture through social media, politics, pop culture, entertainment, science, everything.
Chris Hardwick
Both my parents recognized early on that I wanted to do something in comedy, and they were really supportive. They're the ones who bought me Steve Martin records and let me watch R-rated comedies long before they probably should have.
Chris Hardwick
