Quote

You walk into a strip club with a wad of cash they all flock around you. Strippers are just pigeons with tits. They go where the bread is.

Chris Hardwick

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Chris Hardwick
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Louisville
Kentucky
Christopher Ryan Hardwick
Walks
Pigeons
Around
Flocks
Strip
Cash
Club
Clubs
Strippers
Bread
Tits
Walk
Flock

More quotes by Chris Hardwick

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I spent a lot of time bowling as a kid, mostly because I grew up in bowling alleys. They were kind of my playgrounds.
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Fleetwood Mac is just one of my all-time favorite bands.
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Twitter is basically text messaging. Twitter is a guy you can always elbow in the side and say, Hey, look, a guy in a clown suit just threw up! And I don't have 400-800 words to say about that, I just wanted to say that one thing.
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What's more unnerving than magnetism, ghosts, and unpurified water? Gadgetmongers who purport to protect us from metaphysical monsters that go bump in the New Age night.
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Things that are viral are things that motivate people to say I have to share this with everyone I know, and that has been more politics lately, and that's completely understandable.
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While the liberal media elite depict the bowler as a chubby guy with a comb-over and polyester pants, the reality is that bowling is one of the most tech-heavy sports today. Robotic pinsetters and computerized scoring were just the beginning.
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The difference being that a nerd would wear a D&D shirt because he loves D&D while a hipster would wear a D&D shirt because it's ridiculous that he is wearing a D&D shirt.
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Bowling is all physics and energy distribution. It's F = ma. So it is actually one of the most science-y sports, because it literally is just a ball and a surface and objects to knock down.
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I played tournament chess from fifth grade up into high school.
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Be offended by everything or be offended by nothing.
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I do podcasts for the same reasons I do stand-up comedy. I love it, and I don't care if anybody else gets it.
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I had a personal blog, but why does anyone care that I went shopping for hats?
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I made a lot of changes in my life between my twenties and thirties, and it all sort of revolves around how I think people with nerdier brains tend to problem-solve and approach things differently then norms.
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Comment threads are the new therapy for people. They just go and post the worst things they can think of because they feel bad, and then other people start attacking them, and then they attack back.
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No human ever became interesting by not failing. The more you fail and recover and improve, the better you are as a person. Ever meet someone who's always had everything work out for them with zero struggle? They usually have the depth of a puddle. Or they don't exist.
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I don't know why people don't want to talk about their numbers. I guess in a sense, there's a bit of performer nudity, a bit of ego nudity when you expose your numbers, I guess because someone's are higher or someone's are lower. I've never really talked about the numbers with anyone, so maybe I'm not supposed to.
Chris Hardwick
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Stand-up isn't something I just sit down and start writing - it's ideas you come up with in the shower, while you're driving, waiting in line.
Chris Hardwick
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Worry is a misuse of your imagination.
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I do seem like the kind of guy who'd be obsessive about Rubik's Cubes.
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I do find some of the meanest, most exclusionary people are the nerds. And they rebel against other nerds! What are you doing? As much as I love nerds and the nerd movement, the nerd-on-nerd violence is really bad. A lot of times, nerds are the meanest ones online. And also, the trolling can be very extensive because they're smart.
Chris Hardwick