Quote

You walk into a strip club with a wad of cash they all flock around you. Strippers are just pigeons with tits. They go where the bread is.

Chris Hardwick

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Chris Hardwick
Age: 52
Born: 1971
Born: November 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Louisville
Kentucky
Christopher Ryan Hardwick
Cash
Club
Clubs
Strippers
Bread
Tits
Walk
Flock
Walks
Pigeons
Around
Flocks
Strip

More quotes by Chris Hardwick

Image
Bowling is all physics and energy distribution. It's F = ma. So it is actually one of the most science-y sports, because it literally is just a ball and a surface and objects to knock down.
Chris Hardwick
Image
I played tournament chess from fifth grade up into high school.
Chris Hardwick
Image
There are certain parts of a classic nerd's brain that can destroy that person - obsessing about things to the detriment of everything else in your life. But those are the same tools that you can use to turn everything around.
Chris Hardwick
Image
When I was in school, if you wanted a computer, you had to build one. But today, computers are everywhere. We're all obsessed with technology and having the latest gadgets. Nerd culture is ubiquitous.
Chris Hardwick
Image
Stand-up isn't something I just sit down and start writing - it's ideas you come up with in the shower, while you're driving, waiting in line.
Chris Hardwick
Image
Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.
Chris Hardwick
Image
Every year on my birthday, I start a new playlist titled after my current age so I can keep track of my favorite songs of the year as a sort of musical diary because I am a teenage girl.
Chris Hardwick
Image
I don't know why people don't want to talk about their numbers. I guess in a sense, there's a bit of performer nudity, a bit of ego nudity when you expose your numbers, I guess because someone's are higher or someone's are lower. I've never really talked about the numbers with anyone, so maybe I'm not supposed to.
Chris Hardwick
Image
Comic-Con is nerd Christmas. People go wanting to have fun.
Chris Hardwick
Image
Growing up in the 70s and 80s, it took effort to be a nerd. You had to seek out the nerd stuff.
Chris Hardwick
Image
I don't know if I'm a Twitter addict. That seems kind of harsh. I would say it's more that I'm seriously involved. That it's a long-term relationship - like a girlfriend, which my actual girlfriend loves to hear.
Chris Hardwick
Image
I just feel like, for me personally, there's just been so much election fatigue, and while I think it was very important during the election to always be on top of everything that was going on with the election via social media, I do feel like, all right, now we need a little bit of a detox. I think people need a little bit of a break from it.
Chris Hardwick
Image
If you're going into stand-up, you're hyper-analyzing the world and asking as many questions about a thing as you possibly can so you can figure out the ultimate nature of that thing.
Chris Hardwick
Image
I'm fascinated by people's process. Everyone's process is a little bit different, and just to see the different paths that people take to get where they are is really interesting to me.
Chris Hardwick
Image
You can't touch the strippers. Why are you paying to not touch someone? That is weird. How do you win in that situation? That is like walking into a deli, starving, and being like, 'Here's $300 - can I stare at the roast beef? Better yet, I'll sit down in this chair and you can mash it around my mouth and balls.
Chris Hardwick
Image
I think the mistake a lot of people make with new media is they just focus on one thing. But any one thing - just doing podcasts or just having a website or just doing television - isn't enough anymore.
Chris Hardwick
Image
I like listening to people talk about things that they love. They get to express things they don't normally get to express.
Chris Hardwick
Image
I think when I look out and I see there's so much negativity in the world and a lot of people are unhappy and a lot people are anxious, it just feels like that's one view of the world. But you don't have to always focus on that view of the world.
Chris Hardwick
Image
Twitter is basically text messaging. Twitter is a guy you can always elbow in the side and say, Hey, look, a guy in a clown suit just threw up! And I don't have 400-800 words to say about that, I just wanted to say that one thing.
Chris Hardwick
Image
If you wish to achieve any success in this life, do your best to surround yourself with an orgy of good choices.
Chris Hardwick