Quote

You walk into a strip club with a wad of cash they all flock around you. Strippers are just pigeons with tits. They go where the bread is.

Chris Hardwick

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Chris Hardwick
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Louisville
Kentucky
Christopher Ryan Hardwick
Walk
Flock
Walks
Pigeons
Around
Flocks
Strip
Cash
Club
Clubs
Strippers
Bread
Tits

More quotes by Chris Hardwick

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There are certain parts of a classic nerd's brain that can destroy that person - obsessing about things to the detriment of everything else in your life. But those are the same tools that you can use to turn everything around.
Chris Hardwick
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I think because we're ourselves, we tend to think we're unique. 'I have problems that are just specific to me.' Then you connect with one of your parents and you realize, 'Oh yeah, we had all that stuff, too.' You're not that original. I mean, in a good way, because it makes you feel like you're connected and a part of the world and not an island.
Chris Hardwick
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While the liberal media elite depict the bowler as a chubby guy with a comb-over and polyester pants, the reality is that bowling is one of the most tech-heavy sports today. Robotic pinsetters and computerized scoring were just the beginning.
Chris Hardwick
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Playing Xbox for 23 hours straight is cool and all, but I'm going to teach you how to spend time on things in your life that will get you the following two things: paid and laid.
Chris Hardwick
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I feel like so much of why I sort of want to work in television is so that people know to come see me live.
Chris Hardwick
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Steve Martin said that philosophy is good for comedy because it screws up your thinking just enough, and I agree with that. Being forced to see life's metadata is good training for looking for interesting angles on a topic.
Chris Hardwick
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I learned not to confuse 'busy' with 'productive,' but I'm still far too addicted to email to resist its early-morning digital snuggles.
Chris Hardwick
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No matter what tricks you use or what decisions you make, go easy on yourself as someone who's on a never-ending quest for improvement.
Chris Hardwick
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We didn't understand irony yet in the '80s we just kind of existed at face value, so there was no nerd cool yet because the digital revolution was still in its infancy.
Chris Hardwick
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We're not in an information age anymore. We're in the information management age.
Chris Hardwick
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If you wish to achieve any success in this life, do your best to surround yourself with an orgy of good choices.
Chris Hardwick
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It's very easy to attack ourselves. Even comforting in its familiarity, but you must resist this urge at all costs. Dwelling on the past or your perceived flaws will do nothing but keep you under emotional house arrest and hamper your progress. Commit yourself to growth and reward yourself with kindness for choosing to do so!
Chris Hardwick
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There's something about shooting webs out of my wrists and climbing up things that just makes me happy.
Chris Hardwick
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I just feel like, for me personally, there's just been so much election fatigue, and while I think it was very important during the election to always be on top of everything that was going on with the election via social media, I do feel like, all right, now we need a little bit of a detox. I think people need a little bit of a break from it.
Chris Hardwick
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If you have the opportunity to try different things, you should try different things and step outside your comfort zone and see what works and what doesn't work.
Chris Hardwick
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There's a lot of laughing on a horror movie set. They're magical in that way.
Chris Hardwick
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Trying to make strangers laugh is crazy and more than a little narcissistic.
Chris Hardwick
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Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.
Chris Hardwick
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You can't throw money at the Internet to make it work - it really is all about the quality of the content.
Chris Hardwick
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I think being an outcast is what sort of strengthens the nerd movement, because you're isolated, so you have time.
Chris Hardwick