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The nerds provide the toys that distract the morons. So the nerds are sort of the new drug-dealers. We're the drug dealers of the 21st century because we provide all the brain candy for the mouth-breathers, for lack of a better word.

Chris Hardwick

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Chris Hardwick
Age: 52
Born: 1971
Born: November 23
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Louisville
Kentucky
Christopher Ryan Hardwick
Drug
Dealer
Century
Nerd
Sort
Candy
Brain
Toys
Morons
Word
Provide
Nerds
Better
Mouth
Dealers
Mouths
Distract
Lack
Moron

More quotes by Chris Hardwick

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While the liberal media elite depict the bowler as a chubby guy with a comb-over and polyester pants, the reality is that bowling is one of the most tech-heavy sports today. Robotic pinsetters and computerized scoring were just the beginning.
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I do seem like the kind of guy who'd be obsessive about Rubik's Cubes.
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I think the mistake a lot of people make with new media is they just focus on one thing. But any one thing - just doing podcasts or just having a website or just doing television - isn't enough anymore.
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I think because we're ourselves, we tend to think we're unique. 'I have problems that are just specific to me.' Then you connect with one of your parents and you realize, 'Oh yeah, we had all that stuff, too.' You're not that original. I mean, in a good way, because it makes you feel like you're connected and a part of the world and not an island.
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I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.
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I almost think of nerd brains as rattlesnake venom like, you can milk it. You can milk the pulpy venom out of the nerd brain and use it for good if you want to.
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Both my parents recognized early on that I wanted to do something in comedy, and they were really supportive. They're the ones who bought me Steve Martin records and let me watch R-rated comedies long before they probably should have.
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A lot of people complain in the year 2003 that it's not the world of tomorrow as foreseen in the 1950s. 'Where are the flying cars?' people say. 'Where are the robots who bring us blue drinks and warn us of danger?' Alright. We don't have those things, specifically, folks, but you know what we do have? Laser vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
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You don't need 30 million people to listen to your podcast. If 10,000 people listen to your podcast, which is not a hard number to achieve, then 10,000 people are listening, and you can build a community, and literally change the world just recording into a microphone.
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I categorize nerds as creative-obsessive. A lot of nerds are creative people who obsess almost unnaturally over the minutiae of things.
Chris Hardwick
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The nerdist movement is less about consumers there is a large contingent that are creative nerdists instead of consumers.
Chris Hardwick
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Trying to make strangers laugh is crazy and more than a little narcissistic.
Chris Hardwick
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If you have the opportunity to try different things, you should try different things and step outside your comfort zone and see what works and what doesn't work.
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My mom is a big sports fans. Basketball, football, baseball, whatever. She calls into sports radio shows and gets into shouting matches, that's how intense she is about it.
Chris Hardwick
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I think being an outcast is what sort of strengthens the nerd movement, because you're isolated, so you have time.
Chris Hardwick
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I don't know why people don't want to talk about their numbers. I guess in a sense, there's a bit of performer nudity, a bit of ego nudity when you expose your numbers, I guess because someone's are higher or someone's are lower. I've never really talked about the numbers with anyone, so maybe I'm not supposed to.
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Steve Martin said that philosophy is good for comedy because it screws up your thinking just enough, and I agree with that. Being forced to see life's metadata is good training for looking for interesting angles on a topic.
Chris Hardwick
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Fleetwood Mac is just one of my all-time favorite bands.
Chris Hardwick
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You walk into a strip club with a wad of cash they all flock around you. Strippers are just pigeons with tits. They go where the bread is.
Chris Hardwick
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Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.
Chris Hardwick