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You've got guys on freeways with motorbikes with no helmets on, you can't drink until you're 21 and we wonder why so many youth are smoking f - ing cannabis, and you can start driving here at 15. How f - ed up is that?

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Guys
Youth
Motorbike
Drink
Helmets
Wonder
Freeways
Guy
Cannabis
Start
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Many
Smoking
Driving

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Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for six months to a year, and then see if you're ready to have a baby.
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Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.
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Amy Winehouse's mother wrote an open letter to the News of the World newspaper telling Amy she's worried about her and to please call her. I doubt this is the best way to communicate with Amy - she should try spelling it out in lines of cocaine.
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This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.
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You just be honest about who you are, and if you dont end up with any friends, then good for you.
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I would never get married while my father is still alive because I wouldn't want him to walk me down the aisle.
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I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.
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According to Life & Style, Lance Armstrong was seen canoodling with fitness model Kim Strother, and the night before, he was with Ashley Olsen. He's going from bar to bar picking up women - how does he get them home? Does he put them on the handlebars, or does he have a banana seat?
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It's unfiltered conversation and I love it. I also like to argue with children, so it's the perfect platform for me.
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Kiefer Sutherland has agreed to serve 48 days in jail for his DUI convictions. That's 245 months in Jack Bauer years.
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I'm not going to blow up just for the sake of it, because it's on TV. That's not the issue.
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If someone took the 'F' letter off me, I'd be ucked.
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I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows.
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I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order.
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While looking at a website for liposuction, I learned that it was a six-to eight-week recovery period, the clincher being that, during that time, I would under no circumstances be able to use street drugs. Obviously I had to think of a more realistic approach.
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Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.
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I tried to put myself up for adoption several times.
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I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.
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In these tough economic times, everybody has to cut back. I am down to three tabs of ecstasy a day.
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Tara Reid is charging $3,500 for a personal appearance fee. So, for only $3,500 you can either buy a 1998 Jetta with 130,000 miles on it... or Tara Reid, who only has 98,000 miles on her.
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