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I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Miles
Smell
Away
Important
Think
Thinking
Inauthentic
People
Mile
Authentic

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A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the Bahamas in July. What happened to the good old days when a guy would just saw you in half?
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Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.
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Women don't have to be jealous of other women.
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You just be honest about who you are, and if you dont end up with any friends, then good for you.
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We're not actors, we're people behaving like ourselves on TV. We're both [me and Gordon Ramsay] exactly who we are on TV. I don't think either one is an exaggerated version. You just have to be who you are.
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Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure.
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You should always speak your mind, and be bold, and be obnoxious, and do whatever you want and don’t let anybody tell you to stop it.
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Obviously its nice to give your time and especially when there is money being raised. It's rewarding.
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They travel in groups. You never see an Asian by their self.
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If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.
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When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?
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I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
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My life and my legs have been an open book.
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The important thing is to be drunk.
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Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. It’s the first time an entire Third World country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.
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I know they don't recommend Ibuprofen during pregnancy, but you needed something fast for the hangovers.
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When you see the veins popping out of my neck, that's an exclamation point.
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I definitely don't want to have kids ... I don't think I'd be a great mother. I'm a great aunt or friend of a mother ... I don't want to spend that kind of time. I don't want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don't have time to raise a child.
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That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.
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Rumer Willis was having a great time at the opening of a club when her twin walked in, also known as her dad, Bruce Willis. How embarrassing for her, she's out with her friends and they're like, 'Umm, Rumer, I think your dad put something in my drink.'
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