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We're doing a bunch of shoots with kids about the election, about politics, about racism. I like to talk about heavy topics with kids because you find out what their parents are feeding them at home, and then you find out their quick reactions to things. It's so refreshing when kids are so honest.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
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Refreshing
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Honest
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This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.
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As you get older, then you finally come back around full circle when you don't give a s - anymore and you decide I'm going to just tell the truth to everybody. I don't give a s - if anybody likes me.
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I understand that if you're a kid in Indonesia, you need to smoke because you just got off work at the Nike factory.
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I haven't been manipulated. I did a documentary in prison years ago because I was so f - ed off with those lazy bastards in their bed for 18 hours a day, five dishes a day on a menu to choose from, playing soccer every day, going to the gym, watching movies.
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I like to laugh. It's kind of escapism. I like to make people laugh. And I kind of like people just to have to not think about anything
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The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.
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A lot of people think that keying a car isn't the right way to get back at a guy. I disagree.
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I'll tell you what can make bacon better... nothing.
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I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little.
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People tend to call me names that I can't repeat on basic cable. I will give you a hint. They rhyme with itch, hunt, & bore.
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My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.
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It's also a terrible kind of sentiment [ reality TV] for children and for people. It makes people feel like they all want to be famous for no reason.
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I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.
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I don't want to be Oprah [Winfrey], I'm not trying to be Barbara Walters, but we can all do better.
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Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We're in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we're at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.
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Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby?
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To always trust my instincts, to always believe I have something to offer — no matter how meaningless or stupid it may be — and to never listen to anyone who tells you ‘no.’
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First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
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Don't choose the better guy, choose the guy that's gonna make you the better girl
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You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU
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