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It's unfiltered conversation and I love it. I also like to argue with children, so it's the perfect platform for me.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
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Children
Unfiltered
Love
Platform
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Platforms
Argue
Arguing
Conversation
Perfect
More quotes by Chelsea Handler
Before any exposure on TV, I'm a real chef.
Chelsea Handler
I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order.
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There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.
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Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.
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My life and my legs have been an open book.
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It's hard on an all-gay softball team because no one knows if they want to be a pitcher or a catcher.
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I hate that people assume guys are the only ones to want sex. Girls want sex, too, and that shouldn't be a problem.
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My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it'.
Chelsea Handler
You've got guys on freeways with motorbikes with no helmets on, you can't drink until you're 21 and we wonder why so many youth are smoking f - ing cannabis, and you can start driving here at 15. How f - ed up is that?
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Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure.
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That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.
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If you can't trust your coke dealer, who can you trust?
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There's a McDonalds in Hong Kong & they're offering couples the opportunity to get married. You can have a McWedding.
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I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.
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You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU
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I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows.
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I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.
Chelsea Handler
People tend to call me names that I can't repeat on basic cable. I will give you a hint. They rhyme with itch, hunt, & bore.
Chelsea Handler
I've never made love to a ghost but I have made love to men who are a few years away from becoming a ghost.
Chelsea Handler
Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics - I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.
Chelsea Handler
