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People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
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Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
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Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
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More quotes by Chelsea Handler
Obviously you want to be smart enough to take other people's advice and take that into consideration, and obviously try to surround yourself with people that are smarter than you. As far as sticking to your guns, I think there is no better advice than to just find something that you really give a s - about and then go do it.
Chelsea Handler
I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows.
Chelsea Handler
I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little.
Chelsea Handler
It's unfiltered conversation and I love it. I also like to argue with children, so it's the perfect platform for me.
Chelsea Handler
We women have to stick together.
Chelsea Handler
I think being able to have follow-through, I think a lot of people who are in charge, that is the one quality that you can't forsake. You can get opinions, but you can't have too many cooks in the kitchen when you're envisioning something.
Chelsea Handler
People confuse the fact that I discuss drinking openly with the idea that I'm a heavy drinker. I don't want girls at my show wasted, screaming and yelling out and vomiting.
Chelsea Handler
First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
Chelsea Handler
My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.
Chelsea Handler
I probably do the most for the gay and lesbian community, or LGBT, but I don't have one that I focus on. I just try and kind of do a lot for different charities.
Chelsea Handler
You don't mess with janitors, first of all, they have like 40 keys, and 1 is to a closet you don't want to be inside of.
Chelsea Handler
For months there have been rumors that J.Lo is finally pregnant with Marc Anthony's baby. She was afraid it might never happen. I'm afraid it's going to look like Marc Anthony.
Chelsea Handler
According to an article on CNN.com, a new study says people who are bad kissers don't get laid. Where are you supposed to learn how to kiss? If you go to Catholic school, it's from your priest in public school, you learn from your teacher and some guys learn from their sisters... if their sister is Angelina Jolie.
Chelsea Handler
The only reason I think I would marry a foreigner would be to have kids with weird accents.
Chelsea Handler
Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby?
Chelsea Handler
Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure.
Chelsea Handler
This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.
Chelsea Handler
I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.
Chelsea Handler
My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it'.
Chelsea Handler
Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
Chelsea Handler
