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I think reality television, unless it's inspirational, which it very rarely is, I think it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing state of affairs that we're in.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
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Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
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Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Reality
Embarrassing
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Unless
Television
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Inspirational
More quotes by Chelsea Handler
My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.
Chelsea Handler
I know they don't recommend Ibuprofen during pregnancy, but you needed something fast for the hangovers.
Chelsea Handler
I like to laugh. It's kind of escapism. I like to make people laugh. And I kind of like people just to have to not think about anything
Chelsea Handler
Maybe they should name more drugs cute things. I don't do meth, but maybe if they called meth 'Stefanie' I would!
Chelsea Handler
You've got guys on freeways with motorbikes with no helmets on, you can't drink until you're 21 and we wonder why so many youth are smoking f - ing cannabis, and you can start driving here at 15. How f - ed up is that?
Chelsea Handler
Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
Chelsea Handler
Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We're in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we're at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.
Chelsea Handler
I think the people in your life are the people that - when you can make other people happy and you can give things to your family and your friends, you know, that's really obviously what life is all about. But it doesn't have to be children. It doesn't have to be a husband. It can be whatever you make it.
Chelsea Handler
For the gay and lesbian community, even though I'm not gay I think its really important to speak out for people that aren't necessarily dealing with the same circumstances you're dealing with and don't have the benefit of the health care system or the government that you do.
Chelsea Handler
Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure.
Chelsea Handler
Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
Chelsea Handler
We women have to stick together.
Chelsea Handler
I have been on a life-long search of how to stay in shape without putting any effort into it whatsoever.
Chelsea Handler
Every time John Travolta assaults a masseur, a scientologist gets their wings.
Chelsea Handler
When you see the veins popping out of my neck, that's an exclamation point.
Chelsea Handler
I think bullying of anybody, whether they're gay or straight or anything in high school is unbearable.
Chelsea Handler
If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.
Chelsea Handler
I’m a ridiculous person. If you take anything any comedian says seriously, then you’re stupid.
Chelsea Handler
My mom was kinda like a cat. She slept a lot.
Chelsea Handler
I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run into Paris Hilton and she's like, Oh, I love your show. And I'm like, You can't love my show if you can hear.
Chelsea Handler
