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You get photographed together when there's 25 people with you and people assume that you're having sex, which is definitely not the case.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
People
Photographed
Assume
Assuming
Definitely
Case
Sex
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Together

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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It's also a terrible kind of sentiment [ reality TV] for children and for people. It makes people feel like they all want to be famous for no reason.
Chelsea Handler
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The L. A. Times is reporting that Britney Spears' album Blackout will be number one on the Billboard charts. Not to toot my horn, but I predicted this on my show a week ago. No one wanted to believe me - even I didn't want to believe me, but now I know how Nostradamus feels.
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I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
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People tend to call me names that I can't repeat on basic cable. I will give you a hint. They rhyme with itch, hunt, & bore.
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I’m a ridiculous person. If you take anything any comedian says seriously, then you’re stupid.
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I have been on a life-long search of how to stay in shape without putting any effort into it whatsoever.
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Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We're in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we're at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.
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I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows.
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Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.
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People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.
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Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.
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I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run into Paris Hilton and she's like, Oh, I love your show. And I'm like, You can't love my show if you can hear.
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When you see the veins popping out of my neck, that's an exclamation point.
Chelsea Handler
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A lot of people think that keying a car isn't the right way to get back at a guy. I disagree.
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If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.
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There should be a talent that goes along with being famous.
Chelsea Handler
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I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.
Chelsea Handler
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Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby?
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A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the Bahamas in July. What happened to the good old days when a guy would just saw you in half?
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You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU
Chelsea Handler