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Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
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Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Really
Longer
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Crazy
Waiting
Start
Abdul
Family
Paula
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Much
Wait
More quotes by Chelsea Handler
To always trust my instincts, to always believe I have something to offer — no matter how meaningless or stupid it may be — and to never listen to anyone who tells you ‘no.’
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I know they don't recommend Ibuprofen during pregnancy, but you needed something fast for the hangovers.
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I would never sell my dog for a man. I'd sell the man.
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Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
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That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.
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The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.
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Jessica Simpson attended boyfriend Tony Romo's football game. The Cowboys quarterback had the worst game of his career. It's a bad year for the name Simpson. Even O. J. is pissed - he feels like they're making his name look bad.
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For months there have been rumors that J.Lo is finally pregnant with Marc Anthony's baby. She was afraid it might never happen. I'm afraid it's going to look like Marc Anthony.
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I’m a ridiculous person. If you take anything any comedian says seriously, then you’re stupid.
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I think reality television, unless it's inspirational, which it very rarely is, I think it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing state of affairs that we're in.
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Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.
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Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.
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I think bullying of anybody, whether they're gay or straight or anything in high school is unbearable.
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Don't choose the better guy, choose the guy that's gonna make you the better girl
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I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
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I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have breasts we can't show them?
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It's hard to tell these days what gender people are. You don't know if they're gay, if they're straight, or Bruce Jenner.
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I'll tell you what can make bacon better... nothing.
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I have more respect for somebody who's like, 'Yeah I like to party, so screw off,' then for Tara , who talks about not partying and ends up passed out underneath a Subway, not a subway station, but the actual sandwich shop - two days later.
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When I look at all the people that I have working for me and the company I've started and all the people that benefit from it and have a living because of it, it's very motivating to continue to do it.
Chelsea Handler
