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Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Start
Abdul
Family
Paula
Going
Impatient
Much
Wait
Really
Longer
Says
Crazy
Waiting
More quotes by Chelsea Handler
I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.
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A lot of amazing comedians that I've worked with just really follow their instincts and you can't really teach someone comedic timing. And you just kind of have it.
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We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.
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My life and my legs have been an open book.
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Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn his eyebrows off.
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That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.
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When you see the veins popping out of my neck, that's an exclamation point.
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I wasn’t like 'Oh, I'm going to marry 50 Cent...' I mean, seriously. But I did like him. He's very sweet and antithetical to what you'd think of him.
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You've got guys on freeways with motorbikes with no helmets on, you can't drink until you're 21 and we wonder why so many youth are smoking f - ing cannabis, and you can start driving here at 15. How f - ed up is that?
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There should be a talent that goes along with being famous.
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You should never be mean to other girls. I don't care what grade you're in. Be nice to people until you're my age... and you have your own TV show.
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It's unfiltered conversation and I love it. I also like to argue with children, so it's the perfect platform for me.
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Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.
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Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
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According to Life & Style, Lance Armstrong was seen canoodling with fitness model Kim Strother, and the night before, he was with Ashley Olsen. He's going from bar to bar picking up women - how does he get them home? Does he put them on the handlebars, or does he have a banana seat?
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I probably do the most for the gay and lesbian community, or LGBT, but I don't have one that I focus on. I just try and kind of do a lot for different charities.
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It's good that people don't like you. That's good. It means that you are doing something interesting.
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It's hard on an all-gay softball team because no one knows if they want to be a pitcher or a catcher.
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Can you imagine getting a gun for a secret Santa? That is especially not a good idea if you work in a post office.
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It's hard to tell these days what gender people are. You don't know if they're gay, if they're straight, or Bruce Jenner.
Chelsea Handler
