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Tara Reid is charging $3,500 for a personal appearance fee. So, for only $3,500 you can either buy a 1998 Jetta with 130,000 miles on it... or Tara Reid, who only has 98,000 miles on her.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Miles
Personal
Either
Tara
Reid
Charging
Fees
Appearance

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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We're not actors, we're people behaving like ourselves on TV. We're both [me and Gordon Ramsay] exactly who we are on TV. I don't think either one is an exaggerated version. You just have to be who you are.
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According to the New York Post, Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen are dating. They must be getting serious - Lance gave Ashley his yellow Live Strong bracelet. She wears it as a belt.
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In these tough economic times, everybody has to cut back. I am down to three tabs of ecstasy a day.
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I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
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I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order.
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Obviously its nice to give your time and especially when there is money being raised. It's rewarding.
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I like to laugh. It's kind of escapism. I like to make people laugh. And I kind of like people just to have to not think about anything
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If you do talk dirty, make sure that you enunciate because there's nothing more embarrassing than having to repeat yourself.
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Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.
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Don't choose the better guy, choose the guy that's gonna make you the better girl
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Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.
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A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the Bahamas in July. What happened to the good old days when a guy would just saw you in half?
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I would never sell my dog for a man. I'd sell the man.
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There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.
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You've got guys on freeways with motorbikes with no helmets on, you can't drink until you're 21 and we wonder why so many youth are smoking f - ing cannabis, and you can start driving here at 15. How f - ed up is that?
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According to Life & Style, Lance Armstrong was seen canoodling with fitness model Kim Strother, and the night before, he was with Ashley Olsen. He's going from bar to bar picking up women - how does he get them home? Does he put them on the handlebars, or does he have a banana seat?
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I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows.
Chelsea Handler
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It's good that people don't like you. That's good. It means that you are doing something interesting.
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I have a question. Do you guys think it's OK to drink while you're pregnant if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?
Chelsea Handler
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The important thing is to be drunk.
Chelsea Handler