Quote

According to the New York Post, Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen are dating. They must be getting serious - Lance gave Ashley his yellow Live Strong bracelet. She wears it as a belt.

Chelsea Handler

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
York
Belt
Gave
Belts
Serious
Wears
Getting
Post
Strong
Posts
Lance
Live
Dating
Ashley
Must
Yellow
Bracelet
According
Armstrong

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

Image
I definitely don't want to have kids ... I don't think I'd be a great mother. I'm a great aunt or friend of a mother ... I don't want to spend that kind of time. I don't want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don't have time to raise a child.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I’m a ridiculous person. If you take anything any comedian says seriously, then you’re stupid.
Chelsea Handler
Image
It's also a terrible kind of sentiment [ reality TV] for children and for people. It makes people feel like they all want to be famous for no reason.
Chelsea Handler
Image
We spend so much money on these dresses that are terrible. And what do we get out of it? Nothing - a piece of chicken and a roll in the hay with her hillbilly cousin - no thank you. My family's very close I can do that at home.
Chelsea Handler
Image
The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.
Chelsea Handler
Image
No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to Planned Parenthood and make the baby go away. Happy Hannukah.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I like to stay at home and sit on my ass.
Chelsea Handler
Image
This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I have been on a life-long search of how to stay in shape without putting any effort into it whatsoever.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Amy Winehouse's mother wrote an open letter to the News of the World newspaper telling Amy she's worried about her and to please call her. I doubt this is the best way to communicate with Amy - she should try spelling it out in lines of cocaine.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Hulk Hogan's wife has filed for divorce. This is the most devastating breakup since Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee. And then Pam Anderson and Kid Rock. And soon, Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
Chelsea Handler
Image
I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters
Chelsea Handler
Image
I think they should make Twilight closets and all the cast members can walk out of them.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I don't understand what apps are on my phone. Why do they ask for passwords? Why do they all ask for different passwords? It's so frustrating that I end up just reading a book every time I try to go online.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn his eyebrows off.
Chelsea Handler
Image
According to Life & Style, Lance Armstrong was seen canoodling with fitness model Kim Strother, and the night before, he was with Ashley Olsen. He's going from bar to bar picking up women - how does he get them home? Does he put them on the handlebars, or does he have a banana seat?
Chelsea Handler