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Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We're in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we're at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Half
Blackouts
War
Hottest
Place
Spears
Two
Melting
Country
Album
Men
Albums
World
Selling
People
Huge
Blackout

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We spend so much money on these dresses that are terrible. And what do we get out of it? Nothing - a piece of chicken and a roll in the hay with her hillbilly cousin - no thank you. My family's very close I can do that at home.
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People tend to call me names that I can't repeat on basic cable. I will give you a hint. They rhyme with itch, hunt, & bore.
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Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
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No one tells me what to do -- in any capacity.
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I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
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We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.
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You get photographed together when there's 25 people with you and people assume that you're having sex, which is definitely not the case.
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There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.
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To always trust my instincts, to always believe I have something to offer — no matter how meaningless or stupid it may be — and to never listen to anyone who tells you ‘no.’
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The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.
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