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Kiefer Sutherland has agreed to serve 48 days in jail for his DUI convictions. That's 245 months in Jack Bauer years.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
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Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
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Sutherland
More quotes by Chelsea Handler
I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
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While looking at a website for liposuction, I learned that it was a six-to eight-week recovery period, the clincher being that, during that time, I would under no circumstances be able to use street drugs. Obviously I had to think of a more realistic approach.
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For months there have been rumors that J.Lo is finally pregnant with Marc Anthony's baby. She was afraid it might never happen. I'm afraid it's going to look like Marc Anthony.
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[Gordon Ramsay] knows about being bullied, because look at the size of him.
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Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.
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First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
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If diamonds are a girl's best friend, I wonder if blood diamonds are a girl's best friend 5 days out of the month?
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I'm a worker. I like to work and I like to provide work for other people. I like to put people on my show who normally would never have a chance at being on television.
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They travel in groups. You never see an Asian by their self.
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Before any exposure on TV, I'm a real chef.
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I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.
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There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.
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There's a McDonalds in Hong Kong & they're offering couples the opportunity to get married. You can have a McWedding.
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I understand that if you're a kid in Indonesia, you need to smoke because you just got off work at the Nike factory.
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I definitely don't want to have kids ... I don't think I'd be a great mother. I'm a great aunt or friend of a mother ... I don't want to spend that kind of time. I don't want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don't have time to raise a child.
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I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.
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My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.
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I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little.
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According to Life & Style, Lance Armstrong was seen canoodling with fitness model Kim Strother, and the night before, he was with Ashley Olsen. He's going from bar to bar picking up women - how does he get them home? Does he put them on the handlebars, or does he have a banana seat?
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In these tough economic times, everybody has to cut back. I am down to three tabs of ecstasy a day.
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