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You don't give something away because it's fat. You take it and you look at it.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Away
Give
Look
Looks
Take
Giving
Something
Fats

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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I have a question. Do you guys think it's OK to drink while you're pregnant if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?
Chelsea Handler
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I tried to put myself up for adoption several times.
Chelsea Handler
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When you see the veins popping out of my neck, that's an exclamation point.
Chelsea Handler
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My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.
Chelsea Handler
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It's also a terrible kind of sentiment [ reality TV] for children and for people. It makes people feel like they all want to be famous for no reason.
Chelsea Handler
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I think reality television, unless it's inspirational, which it very rarely is, I think it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing state of affairs that we're in.
Chelsea Handler
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There should be a talent that goes along with being famous.
Chelsea Handler
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I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters
Chelsea Handler
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I probably do the most for the gay and lesbian community, or LGBT, but I don't have one that I focus on. I just try and kind of do a lot for different charities.
Chelsea Handler
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You've got guys on freeways with motorbikes with no helmets on, you can't drink until you're 21 and we wonder why so many youth are smoking f - ing cannabis, and you can start driving here at 15. How f - ed up is that?
Chelsea Handler
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Everyone knows if you're going to take weed to school, you put it in your trapper keeper to keep it fresh.
Chelsea Handler
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I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.
Chelsea Handler
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Don't choose the better guy, choose the guy that's gonna make you the better girl
Chelsea Handler
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I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows.
Chelsea Handler
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I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run into Paris Hilton and she's like, Oh, I love your show. And I'm like, You can't love my show if you can hear.
Chelsea Handler
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Obviously you want to be smart enough to take other people's advice and take that into consideration, and obviously try to surround yourself with people that are smarter than you. As far as sticking to your guns, I think there is no better advice than to just find something that you really give a s - about and then go do it.
Chelsea Handler
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Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We're in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we're at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.
Chelsea Handler
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It's unfiltered conversation and I love it. I also like to argue with children, so it's the perfect platform for me.
Chelsea Handler
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I think they should make Twilight closets and all the cast members can walk out of them.
Chelsea Handler
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Rumer Willis was having a great time at the opening of a club when her twin walked in, also known as her dad, Bruce Willis. How embarrassing for her, she's out with her friends and they're like, 'Umm, Rumer, I think your dad put something in my drink.'
Chelsea Handler