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Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Telling
Clinton
Wife
Anyone
Friends
Bill
Shouldn
Bills
More quotes by Chelsea Handler
It's good that people don't like you. That's good. It means that you are doing something interesting.
Chelsea Handler
It's hard on an all-gay softball team because no one knows if they want to be a pitcher or a catcher.
Chelsea Handler
You don't mess with janitors, first of all, they have like 40 keys, and 1 is to a closet you don't want to be inside of.
Chelsea Handler
We women have to stick together.
Chelsea Handler
We spend so much money on these dresses that are terrible. And what do we get out of it? Nothing - a piece of chicken and a roll in the hay with her hillbilly cousin - no thank you. My family's very close I can do that at home.
Chelsea Handler
Women don't have to be jealous of other women.
Chelsea Handler
There's a McDonalds in Hong Kong & they're offering couples the opportunity to get married. You can have a McWedding.
Chelsea Handler
Obviously its nice to give your time and especially when there is money being raised. It's rewarding.
Chelsea Handler
My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it'.
Chelsea Handler
But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.
Chelsea Handler
I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
Chelsea Handler
You've got guys on freeways with motorbikes with no helmets on, you can't drink until you're 21 and we wonder why so many youth are smoking f - ing cannabis, and you can start driving here at 15. How f - ed up is that?
Chelsea Handler
I would never sell my dog for a man. I'd sell the man.
Chelsea Handler
Before any exposure on TV, I'm a real chef.
Chelsea Handler
Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We're in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we're at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.
Chelsea Handler
I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.
Chelsea Handler
Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics - I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.
Chelsea Handler
I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.
Chelsea Handler
Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure.
Chelsea Handler
I probably do the most for the gay and lesbian community, or LGBT, but I don't have one that I focus on. I just try and kind of do a lot for different charities.
Chelsea Handler
