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There's a McDonalds in Hong Kong & they're offering couples the opportunity to get married. You can have a McWedding.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Married
Couple
Opportunity
Hong
Kong
Couples
Offering
More quotes by Chelsea Handler
If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.
Chelsea Handler
Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We're in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we're at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.
Chelsea Handler
I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.
Chelsea Handler
I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
Chelsea Handler
Rumer Willis was having a great time at the opening of a club when her twin walked in, also known as her dad, Bruce Willis. How embarrassing for her, she's out with her friends and they're like, 'Umm, Rumer, I think your dad put something in my drink.'
Chelsea Handler
Good Luck Chuck, a comedy starring Dane Cook and Jessica Alba, opened today, and critics are saying it has all the belly laughs you’ve come to expect from Jessica Alba.
Chelsea Handler
In these tough economic times, everybody has to cut back. I am down to three tabs of ecstasy a day.
Chelsea Handler
I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order.
Chelsea Handler
If you can't trust your coke dealer, who can you trust?
Chelsea Handler
Obviously you want to be smart enough to take other people's advice and take that into consideration, and obviously try to surround yourself with people that are smarter than you. As far as sticking to your guns, I think there is no better advice than to just find something that you really give a s - about and then go do it.
Chelsea Handler
If you do talk dirty, make sure that you enunciate because there's nothing more embarrassing than having to repeat yourself.
Chelsea Handler
My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.
Chelsea Handler
Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.
Chelsea Handler
Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics - I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.
Chelsea Handler
People tend to call me names that I can't repeat on basic cable. I will give you a hint. They rhyme with itch, hunt, & bore.
Chelsea Handler
If diamonds are a girl's best friend, I wonder if blood diamonds are a girl's best friend 5 days out of the month?
Chelsea Handler
Maybe they should name more drugs cute things. I don't do meth, but maybe if they called meth 'Stefanie' I would!
Chelsea Handler
No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to Planned Parenthood and make the baby go away. Happy Hannukah.
Chelsea Handler
People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.
Chelsea Handler
A lot of amazing comedians that I've worked with just really follow their instincts and you can't really teach someone comedic timing. And you just kind of have it.
Chelsea Handler